Hilarious

Isn't it funny when you're younger

Oh say 18, 19....where you think you know what it is you need?

You think you've got it all figured out?



Then you spend the next 20 years accumulating what those things you think you have to have are, whether they be material, physical, emotional, or some sort of half-assed career.

The next thing you know you're careening towards 40, and you realize that not only did you pull together a bunch of shit that you're unsure about, but hey, for Fuck's sake, you're still not sure what it is you need.



Much less what it is you want.



Isn't it funny?



Looking back at 16, when the world was minty fresh, music was my life, movies were events, girls were temptresses, and jobs were disposable, it doesn't seem all that long ago. No it doesn't. It was half a lifetime ago, but seems like a couple years at the most.....



I don't feel all that different.



Sure, I look like hell compared to then, my bones creak, my back's shot, the only difference is an expanded vocabulary and 20 pounds of labor-created muscle. Unlike a lot of my contemporaries, music still is my life, and movies are still events. While women may not exactly be temptresses anymore, being a hopeless romantic, I fret that I have yet to figure them out. My horrible, awful, soul-sucking job is indispensable, and not even close to the throw-away variety.



Everyone around me has changed. I haven't. Not one lick.



Isn't that a goddamned hoot?



I still don't know what it is I exactly want, and the fates and darknesses of the recesses of my mind have told me, "Rob, chances are you can't get it anyway."



Damn. That's some cold shit.



So, every morning I look in the mirror and still don't know who that person staring back at me is. What does this bastard want?



How can I give it to him?



Does he want to write the Great American Novel? Does he want endless romance and abundant fantasy?

Or does he just want to be left alone in his indecipherable misery, and lonely self-questioning?



Hell, I'm him and I don't even know what the motherfucker is thinking.



Hilarious.