Cries and whispers

I swear I heard thunder
I know I felt rain
It seems every blunder
Comes just before the pain

It's all like a storm

I feel guilty
Asking god for things
When I normally don't believe he's there

And I feel stupid
That I'm so desperate
I've somehow resorted to prayer

It's all like a storm with lightning


That started a flame
People hold me up to
To try and figure me out

I'm looking at people
I don't get you all either
Please don't have any doubt


It's a lonely world folks
Being like a grown up version
Of that lost wandering kid in the parking lot

Waiting for momma
Hoping that poppa
Will come and wipe away the snot

Well I'm past 40 now
There's no mom and dad anymore
I've left them all behind

I've got to figure out myself somehow
And start the game over again
As someone else this time....

Guess I didn't know

Didn't know where I stood
When things are okay thanks to standing
I guess I know now

Can't let go
Of things glossed over
By society or a shrug
Maybe it's just me

I now understand
Worley's haunting
Someone's ok with something
Or worse its forgotten with a smile

Am I the only one here
With a flushed face
And tears in my eyes
Loading my fists?

I now understand
The McManus' plotting
I'm not gonna forget
What others rather would

Even the victims can't see
They haven't hurt just them
They've also hurt me

So I boil like a kettle
Because I've been good
I've tested my own mettle
Just to have backs turned on me

Only to be pushed again....
Being right, doing right
Pays less than being a fucking bastard
And people make up the truth anyway

Maybe it's just me

Because I understand
Bullock's fists
I can stand over blood and bones
And feel justified
And smile.

Feeling alone in these moments
I don't understand anyone
And no one understands me

Am I afraid of my own rage?
Yes, indeed I am
But I respect it
And I know it's right

Because its borne
Of righteousness
And love.

Not self gratification
And satisfaction

But I'll never be right in any occasion
They only got Capone for tax evasion

Now I understand
Billy Jack's feet today
But even that one ton soldier
Got hauled away