static head

My soapbox is made of balsa wood
my pedestal's a rental
the megaphone don't work worth a shit
and my hesitation is all mental

I look at you
apprehension pulling so true
got a small window to run through

I love you.

Wish I could have bit back
as soon as it came out
like a word written in erasable ink
it cannot be rubbed out

I search for some kind of clue
desire pulling me into you
heat and impulse dragging me through

I want you

Next morning staring at the ceiling
devoid of the lust, empty of feeling
wondering what just happened here
while you sleep, i feel your breath on my ear.

I'm looking for a reason for what I did
irritation pulling me toward the door
anger and confusion offering more

I left you

Nightmare Season

The sun rises
like a spark on an open wound

I'm stirring sugar into my hurt...

I'm sick of getting my answers
from vending machines

and why are mirrors so goddamned mean?

I pray for rain
for it's different from today

who we were, what we did
I wonder where it went

If I chased it down
would it make it harder to forget?

and Nightmare Season hasn't even started yet....

No, Nightmare season hasn't even started yet.

Never Been

I've never been an answer man
not too good working with my hands
haven't been that guy to catch a glance
or catch someone's fall where I stand

sat and watched as the moments drifted on by
always wondering, never asking
why they weren't mine

I scream at myself until my ears bleed
I point my finger in the mirror
at no one else but me

The reflection looks real
but it's all a lie
twisted, backward version of the truth

Me, Myself and I

Good Enough

Is there a moment
during the dying of the flame
when holding hands
no longer comes into play?

Is there a bell that rings
a striking of a clock perhaps
when a head can no longer
find purchase in a lap?

I didn't see a flash
in her beautiful eyes
when I was still inside
that said it won't be this good again,
it'll never feel this way again

When did I stop being good enough
when did this quit being real?
When did I stop being good enough
because I still burn and I still feel.....

Baby

Used to keep you in my jacket
to shelter you from the wind
Now I sneak into your room
to watch you sleep
and pray you won't turn out like me

Like the time I jumped the fence
because you ran into the deep end
I'm prepared to jump it again
I'd trade what's left of my life
for your future to not be like my past

Always tried to prepare you
by remembering the mistakes I made
while trying not to scare you
I look up at you now for you're taller than me
But it'll always be my baby boy I see

Background

I was the boy


that didn't have any roots


wasn't from anywhere


no return address or proof




I wanted to be dangerous


wanted to be mysterious


thought of as strange


came off as furious



trying to catch an eye


without being "that guy"


I found it almost impossible


to avoiding telling a lie



she won't look over here


she won't know my name


why am I so insecure


why does she drive me insane?



Because I've no stories to tell


no frilly past to share


never been to the liberty bell


never smelled a hotdog in times square



and there's no fighting chance


competing with the other guys


they've got familiarity


they've got pretty eyes



so I go it alone


ten speed windy nights


rain washes back my hair


eyes lit by street lights

Ah Via Fortuna

I placed my bets and lost again

keep backing the wrong horse

Lady Luck crept out of the bed

she's nothing but a cheap whore



The chips I've had since I was a boy

long lost before I became a man

my poker face slapped and destroyed

by a woman with a flash hand



black cards in her fingers fanned

diamond eyes flashed as I ran



Does Duchess Fate have love for me?

does she kiss as the wind speaks?

or will she claw my back until it bleeds

Laughing hard as the claret seeps?



Madame Fortune, when do I turn the tide

Or do the scales keep leaning your way?

Bad Idea making luck your bride

Win or lose, the bitch makes you pay



from now til your dying day

she sweeps up your ashes and blows them away