1989-- Standing in the middle of Caligula (something with the horizontal)

Don't like to look in the mirror 

Or hear the voice that belongs to what I see 

 singing off key, 

looking like life warmed over 

 Staring and wondering 

speaking and questioning 

 Noah Drake asked, "Wondering what she don't see in me." 

 Rolling out of bed, rolling into the black again in the bathroom in front of the glass 

again disliking someone who's done nothing wrong

 There I am clinging to sainthood, 

shaking my head with a laugh at the lack of willpower that others show 

 willpower I feel I have no right but to display 

 I'm standing in the middle of Caligula

 the only one who sees anything wrong here 

 the only one who holds "steadfast" dear

 I know what's wrong with this picture 

 and it's damn sure more than the contrast

 a lot more than the brightness 

 something with the horizontal 

 because it's the same thing over and over again, 

out of control like the dreams where I'm spinning and I can't stop it. 

 and I'm the only one who cares and I'm going home alone.. 

 stone cold sober 

 stone cold pure 

 stone cold righteousness 

 stone cold flame 

 I'm standing in the middle of Caligula 

 watching others hurt and others getting hurt 

 and doing and letting it happen like the horizontal, over and over again 

 I see the wine and the touch and the intemperance 

 and I don't want any part of it 

 and I question those who do 

 and those who let those who do off the hook 

 No one ever learns 

No one ever yearns 

because it's handed to them like the horizontal 

over and over again 

 I'm standing in the middle of Caligula 

 covering my ears 

covering my eyes 

 pretending it doesn't happen 

 stone cold flame