Out there somewhere

I'm sending part of me out...
staring into the sky tonight
cigarette in hand, looking straight up
embers and the stars equally bright


Will I be getting that part back?


I don't know where it's going
streaking across the black evening
I only know it came from down low in the middle
It was a melancholy that I'd been feeling.


Is it going away?


the night's soul broadcast is over
no deposit and no return
so this night I sent out my soul and my heart
that no one's claimed, and no one's earned


and tomorrow night, I'll do it again.

I Thought

I thought I was tough
'til I got my teeth knocked out

I thought I was confident
'til she showed me doubt

I thought I knew it all
'til someone asked me to open my mouth

I thought I had resistance
'til I saw her pout

I felt the need to shout
now I whimper

It's something to see
when someone's not what they're cracked up to be

something to see

Self-destruct

A hopeless romantic
overly dramatic
reaching for the sun
while holding the roots of a tree

afraid to run
scared to leap
toe in the water
with the neighbor's daughter
instead of the girl down the street

closing all my doors
from the inside
getting off the roller coaster
though I'm tall enough to ride

because it's safety
that I'm searching for
while trying to make my dreams come true

it's preventing a mess
while my art is coming through

You can't have one
and the other
It's like trying to breathe
while you smother

It's not concrete

I've always seen myself through someone else's eyes All compliments I've received I've taken them in as lies I've felt myself a failure at everything that I've tried 

 All of my relationships have ended one way or another goodbyes *************************************** 

 Your fingernails are in my hair 

It feels like a falsehood too

 You lying underneath me now 

and also somehow seems untrue 

 You've wrapped yourself around me 

tight and wet just like glue 

 I wake up from this dream and that itself is nothing new *

************************************* 

 I start my day as I begin to dress 

 whether or not I finish it is anybody's guess

next level

somehow we just missed 

didn't quite line up right 

 we liked the same 

we felt the same 

but the love sideswiped as it passed 

 When the heart's stopped beating 

and my lungs no longer labor 

I'll be searching for you 

 on the next level 

 even if I'm uncertain what I'm looking for 

please look for my eyes 

please look for my eyes 

 I'll reach out my hands for you 

waiting in the ether 

after the mortal coil's been shuffled off 

 we can try to make it line up right this time 

please look for my eyes 

and I'll keep my hands up 

 until you've made it through

Glow

My hatred's iridescent 

you can spot me in the dark 

 If I look at you long enough 

you can be sure I'll leave a mark 

 I'm a torch I'm a vice 

I've erased so much inside 

that you could call nice 

 a hand from out of the dark 

stroking the side of my face 

a fist full of sheet and a heart full of grace 

 If I look at you look enough 

you can be sure I've lost my taste

 I'm a tool 

I'm a wheel 

I've destroyed my own desire to feel

Goodbye

They're begging me to say goodbye
I won't do it, I won't even try
If I say it, it will come true
and that'll be the last I see of you

Father, forgive me for keeping it in
I'm just a boy, it can be no sin
everyone's flying around the house
ambulance will be here any second now......

.........
I'll give you that kiss on the cheek
It carries no seven letter finality
.........


Father, as the sirens faded away
I didn't see you the rest of the day
the phone call came just before dusk
turns out saying goodbye was probably a must....